1. Why does inspiration seem to only strike in the middle of the night when I'm actually really freaking tired and want to sleep but can't because, you know, this scene wants to be written?
2. Why does the middle of my novel suck so much?
3. Why won't my novel magically write itself during the time I lie awake at night thinking about it?
4. Why do I love my novel so much despite the fact that it seems bent on slowly killing me?
5. Why do I only have 100 pages-ish? Why is this process so damn slow?!
6. Why is it that when I set out to write a "simple", "straightforward" novel, I still somehow end up with three different interweaving timeline stories that will require me to write separately and then map out and intergrate and organize and outline?
7. Why don't I have any idea of what the hell is going on in my novel or what is going to end up happening?
8. Why do I only want to work on my novel (to the detriment of the papers and finals I have to still complete) despite the fact that when I finally do "work" on it, I just sit and stare at blank screens, type and delete things, tear my hair out and moan?
9. Why is every scene in the future more interesting to me than the scene that I am working on?
10. Why am I putting myself through this torture?
If someone has the answer to these pressing questions, please let me know.
If I count all the words I've typed for this novel so far, I'm officially over the 30K mark! This does not include random scenes I've jotted down on looseleaf and notebook pages - though it may include double scenes. But since I've stopped writing this book sequentially and started just throwing in scenes, I no longer know what I'm keeping as notes and what I'm keeping as part of the actual thing. Nonetheless -- whee! -- I'm almost halfway done with a first pass! First pass being just the bare attempt to get down the story, before the fun second draft comes along. That's where I actually get to sit down, arrange my story as I'd like for it appear on a page, and then fill in all the holes and make everything sound prettier so it's actually readable.
But for now, goal #1: get the story down!