Since I've pretty much given in and started posting some more personal things on this site, including my struggle to *become* a writer, I thought I'd take a couple moments during my lunch break to jot down some thoughts:
- It's interesting. Now that I've started a novel, I feel strangely at home. I always knew I wasn't a short story writer at heart, but I taught myself to, because I felt it was necessary. Also because I feared that lacked the stamina to write a novel. But now that I'm about 9,000 words in, I get it. This is where I belong. If I'd be anything, I'd be a novelist. I love creating these characters and knowing them so intimately that I could wax on them for pages and pages. I love that I hold the ultimate keys to everything about them and I can dole out bits and pieces of them at my own discretion. I love how far I can fall into who they are and how they react to things, and the memories they have and watch them change gradually over time. Yes. I'm a novelist.
- This novel is based upon the first writing exercise I did in my first writing class, over a year ago. A character study. Two characters emerged from this exercise (that turned into 6 pages long), and since then I've been playing with them. Trying to figure out who they are. The things that drive them, and of course, the plot that surrounds them. It's been a long long long time in my head, fleshing it out, took me this whole year to do it. The strange thing is that the female character (who is not the main protagonist) while based loosely upon me in only the most superficial ways, was never meant to reflect me or my life or even my outlook on the world. But suddenly, I'm reading pages I've written with her in it, and I suddenly see her in me. That sounds strange, right? But it's not as if she's based on me, but more like, I suddenly understand what she's going through, why she says and needs the things she does, because I suddenly need those things too. I created this character far away from me, and now she's sort of affecting me. Weird. Very weird.
Okay, that's vague, but I can't say much more without giving anything away. So that's all for now. Back to the grind.